i just adore how people can be so self-involved that they can drop their assumed friends off at the nearest street (called “i don’t give a fuck about you”) if the smallest convenience arrives. it is more than a little depressing as usual when i find out how expendable i am to those i used to think so highly of.

because this is all public and i needn’t be too obvious ….

i wish i could be in such a secure position and be just as selfish, but now i am left in sudden shock, not knowing what my living situation will be. blown out of the water for a time, not knowing how i should plan the next year of my living space. i do not take things and people so lightly i suppose. i give a shit, probably more than i should and it has gotten me in such horrid situations most of my life. when i trust people. i took off an entire week from work just so i could be here if need be to find a place for us. and now this … i wish someone would give me some fucking consideration for once. now i must hurry to find a place as everyone leaves to go home for the summer and before everyone else that agreed to live with each other a MONTH OR MORE ago has found their place. so that i am given a small chance to be in a situation where the rent is not too high so that i CAN continue to live and go to school in milwaukee, considering i am poor and pay my way by working my ass off, i cannot always rely on my parents and do whatever the fuck i please … nor do i hold the same values where my own comfort is placed on high, way above anyone else’s to the point of utter indifference for others … maybe it is best we do not live with each other if this is what i have to look forward to … a public post, none too discreet, and quite oblivious to those around …