is it true the friends you finally come to accept are only those that work to complete a “functioning” social network, as in they fill gaps you cannot, they tie the ends to loops you are only a fraction of?
i think being able to do anything you focus your mind upon, while equally having natural tendencies towards a right brained (defunct, devalued) sentiment: intuition, spatial speaking/understanding, i make jokes with my body language that no one sees … this all results in constant social misses and anxiety and ultimately pages of crazy apophenia writing at 2am to make it all okay. i am crazy and misunderstood and (excuse of all excuses) unable to communicate unless i am writing it down.
mike has told me i need to stop constructing sentences while i speak. i kind of have to see what i am doing, make sense of what i’m saying …
agh, i’m just fucking lonely in a crowd full of people, all eyeing me, knowing i see things differently, and they want to see in half-admiring, half-confused, half-amused, half-nervous, sometimes half-angered ways, but i am unable to perform, express exactly what in the 2.3 seconds necessary for social comfort.
fuck specialization. i just want a friend, who ignores my intellect, so i don’t have to constantly overcome it to speak to them.
is it true the friends you finally come to accept are only those that work to complete a “functioning” social network, as in they fill gaps you cannot, they tie the ends to loops you are only a fraction of?
An interesting question. For a long time I’ve assumed (with all that that entails) that from many springs a more perfect social order; We have proclivities on whom we will “get along” with, but we ultimately have something to learn (and therefore something to gain) from everyone. But what if the “getting along” process was one of finding those that would form this social ideal with you?
At a minimum, I would agree that that is part of the reason why you accept some people as friends and not others.
fuck specialization. i just want a friend, who ignores my intellect, so i don’t have to constantly overcome it to speak to them.
I know the feeling, or at least that of wanting a friendship without pretense.
ah, pretentiousness, i think you’ve hammered down the nails to this coffin quite efficiently. it seems social functions work in two ways: a mutual dysfunction/need or all have a common goal. either way, you’re correct: you have something to learn/something to gain. independence is a pipe dream, just like ayn rand
s plithy protagonists.
> is it true the friends you finally come to accept are only those that
> work to complete a “functioning” social network, as in they fill gaps
> you cannot, they tie the ends to loops you are only a fraction of?
yes. utility friends, or the Pimped Golems.
> i think being able to do anything you focus your mind upon, while
> equally having natural tendencies towards a right brained (defunct,
> devalued) sentiment: intuition, spatial speaking/understanding, i
> make jokes with my body language that no one sees … this all
> results in constant social misses and anxiety and ultimately pages
> of crazy apophenia writing at 2am to make it all okay. i am crazy
> and misunderstood and (excuse of all excuses) unable to communicate
> unless i am writing it down.
some focus on the inner universe some on the outer. some on universes that are in between.
where’s that nocturnal apophenia, can i check it?
crazy means being unable to express anything (on a piece of paper or with a knife or with a body). you either don’t like society (& the fact that you have to mix with it for trivial things distresses you) or some society threatens to smash a fragile fetal remnant.
> mike has told me i need to stop constructing sentences while i
> speak. i kind of have to see what i am doing, make sense of what i’m
> saying …
that’s un-automatic; mike sounds like a liberal shrink. please fetal remain automatic.
> agh, i’m just fucking lonely in a crowd full of people, all eyeing
> me, knowing i see things differently, and they want to see in
> half-admiring, half-confused, half-amused, half-nervous, sometimes
> half-angered ways, but i am unable to perform, express exactly what
> in the 2.3 seconds necessary for social comfort.
what a swarm of beasts. i ignore the pleb except in the case they are some sexy young women. ‘the hell are the others’ the famous cross-eyed idiot stated.
> fuck specialization. i just want a friend, who ignores my intellect,
> so i don’t have to constantly overcome it to speak to them.
i agree. FUCK IT. i want to be your friend. just open and accept a friend. it’s like christmas with a satanist.
after all intellect makes humans (esp. women) a-sexual. what else could be such a terrible fate? except being castrated of course.
a satanic christmas, a forgery, a mockery, an antithesis, that by its very nature becomes authentic? i’ll stick my intellectual cock in that shit…
i think you’ll have that one day. and maybe they won’t even have to ignore it.
i hope so.
—
ps, i love the piece above, about “adam.” beautiful.