IDEALISTIC HELEN, SINGING TO OPEN DOORWAYS
you
face south in winter
ideals of flight
soak more than will
and isolation still peeks in
the film of saccharine moisture
these dreams
that i
withstood in thresholds
your Helen antithesis
painted bliss
in the glowing, hollow cheeks of doorways
singing tunes
that were
forgotten long ago

IDEALISTIC HELEN, SO SHE RESPONDS
you make it a whisper in a jostling
a joke
to make the response soft as your conviction — as the day you saw this revelation
and
closed the door
quietly
so no one would know
you were a coward from your roots
and i sang you off my porch
alike the bastard puppy dog
you mimic ( so disgracefully )
a charmer without the ear or voice to carry
even a single, obtuse tune

i am no future princess, no future president .. i’d rather sew the molted skin of memories upon my back, upon my white-tipped hair …. and bathe in the sweat of blue-collar sentiments … trading my paper drawings for green paper of some abstract importance never seemed a substantial reason … i am blind, i suppose, to this sort of displacement of significance …. i thought the self was something one should never give away for mere trifles of earthly fortune ..

every yellow light -sunlight- rolls back upon its negative … everything engulfs itself …. i cannot dip my soul into necessity and monetary compliance without gravity shifting my essence back to its black hole birth … you think this is all a game of simpleton acquisitions …. you are but a planet, dear, in my galaxy, turning round to stare and scarred by brilliance you will never know for fear of self-realization … i understand … denial used to be a friend of mine as well …. i will sit quite content in my topless room, spinning webs of desire that engulf and open me breathing wide and open … pained for my own good sense, godammit, it’s choice in the flesh ….

why must there be a separation of arts and science?
all observers of matter converging and diverging
i will not be divided
we all will become each other’s potato molecules someday
your lungs or gills or wings
molecular vibrations
energy does not make it move
it is what it is
the question
our atoms, molecular bonds sense each other
reacte indiscriminately
why can’t we?
as humans
as universes of atoms

>>>>>>

airplane
And the land will flow beneath
as i –as man– takes that dominant path toward becoming god
with apostasy over rampant
and the manmade god becoming evermore transparent
apotheosis will be the tower that will fall and crush our frail bones
how could we deny nature her rightful throne?
after seeing her designs fully above
trying to fly
further
past arrogance
towards the power of self-destruction

;;;

is love so ephemeral?
a meatbone pleasure to be squandered on the reflection of narciussus’ dog
in the maddening howls of youth
i would crawl to find it, to need it
but now here in this weathered skin and calming pragmatism
base assumptions realized
through years of surviving my own attempts at self-destruction
how foolish i must have been
to base myself on the sea surface of such undefinable abstractions

yeah! my cats have come home to me today! the lovelies / they missed me / they won’t let me be anywhere in the apartment without them …. sigh, ahh, now this is love …