Breathing in smoke curls that fill the air precariously like so many tired tangents and faded intensity for causes lost before realized,
…. and breathing in the tired air.

Leaving my second hand lungs, like my second hand language, to the mercy of another’s atmosphere, dense in a borrowed sophistication that is more a curse in this environment plagued by self-denial and cities full of funhouse aspirations,
…. and leaving absence to philosophy.

Watching these clowns wear their large red intentions that shout for substance, while holding a fistful of brightly colored, rubber-encased helium dreams,
…. and watching it all burst.

Clothing my intentions in art because it is just easier that way and for christ’s sake, there’s so little aestheticism left in this gelid sphere past sex and designed/controlled communication that I cannot turn away from,
…. and clothing myself in comfort.

Apologizing for cynicism when it’s the only defense I have left against the perfect pulses that mutate my imperfect impulses as I walk into a warehouse of horror and fear -they- named Walmart and Best Buy and the local supermarket,
…. and apologizing to myself for all I can never see.

…. and breathing in …

/ -they- are working for
/ a conglomerate of retina pixellations
/ a colliding event horizon, reported from the
/ collective implosion: unconscious humanity
/ but it is stasis, -you- riddle
/ configuring for a
/ stagnant generic neorosis
/ “no” and a little twitch
/ (i must think conscious thoughts)
/ and build off tv knowledge
/ to the open system
/ “you have a beautiful nervous …”
/ central-isis
/ you mean not linear
/ i mean co-linear and associative and free

so, I have rethought many things and am now out of fucking wausau … enough should be gleaned from that very statement … i needed a refresh i suppose, and this journal to be be less accessible … i realized how selective and half-hazard my journal’s entries are, and how much perception can be tilted because of this, but it can have beautiful possibilities as well … i can learn here … this should be a warning for others as well as myself … what you see is not all there is, just what is spilled onto some outpost, what is revealed, what is not … ha! the confused, chaotic spillage of expression and interpretation … anyway, on with the refresh air …