So last night I went to my first big, college drinking party, had 3 juicy, lipstick-red jello shots, had some drunk chick almost puke on me, and watched as she enetertained several penised bodies with her feminine “charms.” All in all a rather enjoyable evening, but not one I’ll repeat anytime soon. I seriously do not have the cash.

A beautiful insect I keep in a glass jar, another brittle moment I hold: