i saw a flower weed today in the cracks of cement, growing amidst the shine of wealthy ignorance hidden in shiny automobiles. To think no one ever notices such things anymore—just walks on by with fluttering eyelids and half-smiles, like waiting for the ultimate oblivion to save them from all this self-induced confusion. Trying so hard to forget and not to think about anything that causes sweat to pour down the cracks of loneliness. why are we so like the way we are? … scared, cornered, the possibility we might have led so empty a life ever more hardens the walls to the cage, an excuse that we cannot start over, be open, vulnerable, NOT AFRAID, even for just a day … when we could look across the room and stare into each other’s eyes and speak the patterns to our thoughts freely as if tomorrow was a great ending or beginning … and etiquette: the rules to protect insecurity, to hide behind common phrases: “How was your weekend? Did you get that homework assignment done?” As if this was the essence of life, as if these were safe havens to poke at trying to find a connection while still holding up the glittered mask …i say fuck all this chitter-bug nonsense, let us run together until we fall and laugh and cry and are free as we truly are. but it is dream, only a precious few have the self-esteem to show glitteing eyes instead of glittered teeth … imperfection is not responsible for this … self-denial is …

… thinking many things …