i feel independent of all right now … removed yet here as i’ve never been … there is no melancholy in these eyes as of late … i’m attively engaging people … i seem to have a sudden social confidence and interest … i am looking for something in common voices … trying to see what i’ve been missing in this depressive haze of forgetfulness and self-doubt … not to say those aspects i struggle with in myself have disappeared … i just seem more attuned to dealing with it, instead of letting things slip by like water through my fingertips … an impossiblity i have come to accept as things i can never control … people seem more obvious to me now, and needing soemthing … something that i have a bit of the answer to … they want to have what i do … and now i am more willing and ABLE to give it to them ….