On the eve of
    Destruction and creation

             At the midpoint, halfway, and in between

When I remember
      Or force to forget
When I suffer
      Your absence and my own
When I carried you
      And your feet dug
      Your nails bit
      And your tongue dripped folly and drowned my breath
When I finally succombed to leave you to your death
      —Because I had to save myself

When I felt the weight and the lightness converge

            The midpoint, halfway, and in between

—-I ran                                 (purely instinct)
      Ran farther than desire
      Ran farther than desperation

And finally—-
   Like the softening light of a new sunrise
   When it seemed a safe distance away
   And I slowed my pace
   On this landscape of memory
    (But you can never truly run away from yourself)

I felt the cold through my spine    
                             in my abdomen
   Your semen birthe
   Foriegn as the new terrain
   I had forced upon myself
                                         —–to forget you

But you linger
And
Peek half open still,
                             like cancer,
                             like a scar that will never heal
                                             that waits and roughs and immortalizes
     The emptiness, the pit
I feel you
   Seeing behind these eyes,
                    my eyes
And I am afraid …
Now more of myself than I ever was of you

                 But I am washing my hands of all of this
                     This spiral marks a beginning
                                       @