Here is an update on my current state of mind: I feel relieved. I may have been extremely effected by my recent slicing off of external layers, but in the end, in the present, I am relieved. I believe that my consciousness was being seriously fucked with for a long time and now it is free from past baggage. I just needed to do it and go through it, I suppose. In truth having this extra weight of someone else on me was much more of a numbing factor than anything else. I cannot think in that state, in that sort of relation. After hearing Wesley make such disheartening conversation on the state of our relation, it made me realize a lot of what I’ve been wondering and what’s been killing me for a long time. I needed to hear it from him, I suppose. I am free from it finally.

Thank you for telling me the truth, Wesley.