I have a strange sense of home around you that is hard to come by, especially for me. Although, a long ago history whispers fears of guilt, I can already see us building as I do with many people. As you must know the stars and molecules align only briefly and powerfully and you are a consistent reminder mystique can be fertile if housed in accurate perceptions, or at least we would like to think its too-green-for-reality vines and pastures are fantasy dreams we can wake up from without scars. I have them and I think you do, too. We both ran away, as these mental asphyxiations were closing in, for damn good reasons. There is so much experience and life I’d wish to share with you, not for fantasy so much as for a mutual understanding, a core need for freedom and destruction.

You never will know the instance I had of giving “it” all up to be available to you. Of fucking it all, but I have already done this and I would have been regressing, not developing I realize. Life is full of splits and so far I have been able to jump miraculously over them with only a few scars to my monikers. I cannot say I’v never fallen because I have, so deep, several times. I am always able to dig myself back out of my own self-dug graves. Mine is a dotted landscape of such extremeties and I can see you desiring such territories as well. I do want to show you, but know experience is the only way and I cannot do that for you, not do I think you’d want me to.

You flirt with intellectual intimacy, pull my flickering intentions down around my ankles as if I were merely an another mental suitor for you. Then I remember your necessary promiscuity of such things, pull my skirts back up and flutter back to reality. A taste, only a taste.

I think we could live a life of fluttering and flying and north to south migrations, there is a possibility of satiation of this burning desire, to know and grasp the phallic power of knowledge. You want to dance with me? I wonder who will try to deny the other first or who will give in. We both want to conquer the world, I wonder if we could or should conquer the other. And I wonder if that is the point of it, flirting with the disaster of our own personalities (feminine chaotic state) and somehow finding a way to downplay it all. Yeah, like hang out, whatever.

My motto as of late: Working to give meaning back to the life we all forgot we had.