so i recieved in the mail, some cynically great xmas gifts from the maternal side of the frat house family stereotype, a couple of bubble bath fun items, pink lotions and general shit i will never use and cringe at when i see for all its gender role implications, subtle mind decay of defintions and generalization of WHO I AM AND I AM A BIG GUARDED HEATED “I DON’T NEED TO WEAR PINK TO SHOW YOU I AM FEMALE” kind of person that is so difficult to approach in this society. since i am intimidated by all my unknowns and complexity all day, i understand in a way … but still, pink lotion and furry baskets of sugary icky pampered goodness? no art supplies or tools or practical items of any kind (oh, yes there was the ease of money within to gloss over all other possible irregularities of self-perception) who do these people think i am? these people i am to call the beloved gene-sharing folks? these people i am to share a connected life of dependency and background on? ear muffs and jewelry and shiny rubber stereotypes? safety in standard, accepted stereotypes? i appreciate the thought, but that is only because i am told i should to redeem seeming self-consumed and spoiled behaviors (because you know i should feel greatful people give me anything at all, when actually i wish i wasn’t given this contribution to over-abundance and frivolty, another thing to add to the American pile of SHIT I DON’T NEED) yeah, i smell and i don’t shave my fucking legs ever, and yes, i still wear shorts and dresses. i refuse to put aluminum under my arm that has the potential to give my heredity another boost for possible later-in-life breast cancer, so other people can douse themselves in cover-up ideals of what a person should be in every way down to a suppression of olfactory and the natural hair sensory of your legs. i am not a perfumed manneqein at the mall with no hair and hard tits and an angular inverted point waist/waste of energy. i work hard with REAL tools and metal and grinders and saws and cuts and blood and stone and wood and it’s breathing-hard love and i LOVE IT, I FEEL IT IN MY MIND AND IN MY SEX AND IN MY BODY more than anything i ever will and ever would do otherwise. i can weld metal and cut stone and carve wood like any fucking dude or better … so yeah, fuck this pink fluffy shit and monetary compliance/silence … you have no fucking clue, even though i wish i could tell you, i have a feeling you’d be more insulted than anything else and tell me i shouldn’t do more than a girl would at my young age … you know don’t ride on a horse properly both legs swung over each side, so you can ride fast and furious because you might get a little excited and vibration in that area is just never a good thing, hahahha